(Originally from bigwowo.com)

I thought some of you might enjoy this. Jamie Oliver, a winner of the 2010 TED Prize, talks about how America can help its young people live longer and healthier through better school cafeteria programs and education about food. His recommendations are interesting: kids should know what they're eating, and they should be able to cook at least ten healthy recipes by the time they leave school.

I credit Jamie Oliver for starting my own interest in cooking. He makes it sound fun, and he communicates his passion for food through his words. I think this is a good prescription not just for schools, but also for parents. We parents need to do more to raise our children to appreciate and to know food.

Labels: food

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(from bigWOWO.com)

I just got the newsflash from 8 Asians: Joe and Heidi Wang will be running the Amazing Race, beginning this Sunday on CBS. Like the winners Tammy and Victor Jih from last season, the team has an Asian American male and an Asian American female, but unlike last season, they're not brother and sister. Woohoo for diversity! They're also parents of two children, so cheers for the Rice Daddy.

I don't know how long this will be up, but you can see a video of them here. They've got an awesome bio too; check out the link under their name above. Mixing it up with them this season will be Jordan and Jeff from Big Brother (which I only saw a part of--the part where the blasian brother got axed) and the infamous Miss Carolina 2007 who stumbled on public TV when someone asked a hard question.

Labels: Amazing Race

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Listening to Rosanne Cash speak at the Times Center got me thinking about what “The List” I give my children would look like? What kind of intellectual/cultural legacy will I leave for them? What legacy will I be able to forge for them?

My father and I do not talk about music though we have argued politics.

Rosanne says this on her blog about The List:

The songs were culled from a List of "100 Essential Country Songs" that my dad made for me when I was 18 years old. It could have easily been called "100 Essential AMERICAN Songs", as the list covered every critical juncture in Roots music, from early Folk songs, protest songs, history songs, Appalachian, Southern blues and Delta bottomland songs, to Gospel and modern Country music. This list is not only a personal legacy, but I have come to realize it is also a cultural legacy, as important to who we are as Americans as the Civil War, or the Rocky Mountains.

Determined by time and place, my “America” is different than Rosanne’s. In 1973 when she was 18 and her father presented her with his list of “essential songs,” I was still in the single digits (born 12 years later but a day earlier). By the time I turned 18, the synthesizer and scratching had become as mainstream as the guitar and the fiddle.

And of course ethnicity plays a role. The word “country” has additional implications for me and my children (though we are all American born). A list of influential (if not essential) American songs for my children would have to include Jacky Cheung, Leslie, Faye Wong, and Andy Lau. These Cantopop singers made it far enough across the language barrier to reach me without Youtube or MP3 file-sharing.

They were influential partially because they represented a “modernizing” of what I perceived as Hong Kong music (which seemed overly preoccupied with ballads and overly “artificial” sounding synthesizers like the sound bites to 80s video games). These singers seemed to have a deeper understanding of the art of the English pop song and successfully bridged the aural sensibilities of both languages (English and Cantonese).

As a Second Generation ABC (American Born Chinese) I have a faulty grasp of Cantonese (my parents’ language). As Third Generation ABCs my children have no understanding at all of my parents’ (their grandparents) language. Everyone speaks English! (which is good in the respect that we have assimilated well but difficult in terms of a cultural legacy.)

I have written about the importance of my children learning Chinese. After reading about The List, I feel it is important that my children also have an understanding of the culture (art, music, and literature) that enriches their heritage as Asian Americans (or more specifically Chinese Americans).

(Digging around Youtube, Leslie Cheung’s Monica brought back memories. I couldn’t resist closing with it… )

Labels: Cranial Gunk, cultural literacy, culture, identity, music

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I caught this article linked by the fine people of BicoastalBitchin.

Alls I gotta say is that the writer hit the nail right flat on the head. This was my favorite sentence:

When baby makes three, the abrupt lifestyle change spells an end to these spontaneous expeditions.

Age three is the magic number, and it's a dad thing, almost exclusively. Wives and women are cool checking with the singles, adjusting to the schedule, embarking on the same activities. But for guys, the party begins to end when the baby first comes, as you get used to changing diapers, feeding the baby, putting the baby to sleep, etc. The party completely ends at 3. You're no longer the same person. Dude, meet yourself.

Sure, I still go out for fight night when Lyoto, BJ, or Anderson is fighting. Sure, I'm still down for chugging a beer at happy hour. But the nature of the outings is different. You're now a dad, and that comes before everything else. You have very little time for anything else.

The author says at the end of the article that he's beginning to have more time now that the kids are playing among themselves. He no longer gets the "dagger eyes" when he leaves the house. I'm looking forward to that time. I've been a different person for about four years now, and my littlest one is just 14 months, which means that I probably have another 22 months to go. Maybe I can once again re-enter the world of men.

(Also posted at bigwowo.)

Labels: guys, parenting

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So I guess they're remaking "The Karate Kid", with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith playing the Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio roles. And from the looks of this trailer, the movie's set in China, the ancient land of mean-eyed wushu-trained boys and demure violin-playing girls. During the course of the flick, Jackie Chan (sporting a moustache wispier than Mariah Carey's in "Precious") sagely teaches Jaden Smith how to be a kick-ass kung fu fighter, in part by instructing him to "JACK IT OFF" or something like that. (I guess "wax on, wax off" wasn't suggestive enough.)

But wait a second: This remake features a Chinese kung fu master teaching kung fu in China. There's no karate in this film -- not even the fake kind that Mr. Miyagi taught Daniel-san. So why is this movie still called "The Karate Kid"? Why not "The Kung Fu Kid" or "Will Smith's Kid" or "Jack It Off"?

Oh, right -- I forgot for a moment that in Hollywood's eyes, all Asians (and their respective forms of native martial arts) are totally interchangeable.

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I remember our first Christmas together. I had gotten her one of those hand-held electric back massagers (which she asked me to return). She had gotten me a DVD player (which we had to buy a new TV to accommodate).

And we had a live tree that we bought from a reformed drug addict who was selling them outside the Rite Aid on Grand Street. He brought it to our apartment in a shopping cart that rattled and jangled across the islands on Delancey. He had a little hatchet he used to trim off the lower branches so the tree would fit into the stand. We didn’t question it at the time but later that night we kicked ourselves for being so naive. We let a self-admitted drug addict into our home with an axe.

There is a picture of the four of us (our youngest just over a month old) with Santa at Macy’s. It was the last time Christmas didn’t feel like a hassle. By “hassle” I mean it was the last time Christmas didn’t feel rushed or contrived. And by “contrived” I mean it was the last time Christmas felt like a celebration rather than an obligation.

I’ve been telling the same joke lately. For many of my friends and acquaintances, it is their babies’ first Christmases (or Hanukkahs). I’ve been telling them (jokingly of course): Enjoy baby’s first Christmas (or Hanukkah) because pretty soon he’ll (or she’ll) be asking for stuff.

I don’t mean it in a mean way. It’s not a cynical statement on the commercialism of Christmas and human greed. It’s more an amusing “circle of life” observation on my part. It’s normal child development for my boys to want specific things. It is also normal for them to want what their friends have. It’s a sign they are becoming self aware and constructing a personal aesthetic. It’s also a sign they are becoming socially aware.

A train set is no longer a train set, it is the Thomas the Tank Engine train set like the one [Insert Child’s Peer’s Name Here] got. A video game is not a video game , it’s a DS like the ones [the ominous] they have at school.

My boys are maturing and asserting themselves. The catalysts determining their desires is inconsequential for now. We will eventually have the “talk” about not mindlessly following peer groups but for now it is enough they are becoming sensitive to the norms of their peer group.

That said. It doesn’t mean I don’t get a little bit sentimental about the days when it was enough that the present was from me. With their newfound desires comes new burdens not to disappoint.

… humbug.

Elizabeth Bernstein writes about disappointing holiday gifts from husbands/boyfriends to wives/girlfriends in her Wall Street Journal article, “The Gift that Needs Forgiving.” It seems the “thought” is not enough.

After recounting several tales of “inappropriate” gifts she has been told, she concludes:

You shouldn't need a gift consultant (or a marriage counselor) to tell you these presents are wrong. They're utilitarian. Unromantic. Ugly. And, in many cases, more suitable for a man, or a cleaning woman, than the love of your life.

I am reminded of Cordelia’s plight in King Lear. She ineffectively expresses her love for her father and is cast out. However, the moral Shakespeare posits is the polar opposite of Bernstein’s. He chooses to show superficial gestures of affection paling in the light of those that are more subtle and genuine. 

As I read Bernstein’s article, I felt a swell rise from my gut. It wasn’t the holiday sweets charitably giving me a second taste. It was annoyance. As clever as she was in her article, she (perhaps inadvertently) portrayed women as shallow, demanding princesses whose emotional investments are in tokens of homage instead of more meaningful, potentially sincere gifts.

To illustrate my point, Bernstein includes Tom Valentino’s story among the tales of disappointed wives and girlfriends. He is meant represent the “men’s perspective.” He tells of his upbringing and its influence on his values.

In his parents' house, Christmas was all about religious values—and food. Gifts were an afterthought.

"I started to think, well, we have three kids already, so no need for anything from Victoria's Secret," he says. "And I bought her a fancy watch last year for her birthday. How many of those does she need?"

Then he remembered his wife had said she needed a vacuum and a bigger pasta pot. Off to Macy's he went. "I could almost smell the sauce cooking with meatballs, sausage and braciole," he says. "How could a woman not be happy with these?"

He found out, because the gifts made his wife cry.

What would have been an appropriate gift? For the most part, the true desires of the women included in the story are never revealed. Is it a matter of not knowing what you want but knowing enough that you don’t want what you were given?

I am reminded of “Rosebud” and a little snow globe given by a man to a woman. She rejects the gift and goes on to say he never gave her anything of value.

Bernstein concludes:

Sometimes men aren't listening to their wives. But just as often, women aren't clear about their desires. They want men to pick up on their subtle clues, rather than telling them outright what they'd like. As one woman I know explains, "It means we are special to them if they detect what we want without us telling them."

So what’s a Rice Daddy to do? The Asian side of me says: Gift Cards! The American side of me says: That’s so “utilitarian, unromantic,” and “ugly.”

Labels: christmas

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So my brother recently alerted me to this recent NY Times piece about parents using techniques they learn from TV host Cesar Millan on their children. If you aren't familiar with Cesar, he's the man behind the mega popular National Geographic show "Dog Whisperer." So as you can see, the tips he's teaching on the tube aren't necessarily appropriate for junior.

A year before we became parents, we took in my 12-year-old border collie/lab mix Spaz. He had been at my parents house his whole life, and they were getting fed up with him. (Ya see, he was named "Spaz" for a reason.) Since my wife and I were devoted "Dog Whisperer" viewers, we figured we could practice Cesar's way (discipline, exercise, affection) to get Spaz to a more "balanced" place when he moved in with us. And lo and behold, after a couple months, the dog that had been a terror for over a decade became a well-adjusted pet. (Of course, his advanced age probably had something to do with it, too). Sometimes I wonder if our success in helping Spaz convinced us we could be good parents. So fast forward a couple years, and we actually had a toddler in the house who, while she isn't chasing her tail and barking at the neighbors, can give "old, crazy Spaz"a run for his money.

We sometimes joke about using some of Cesar's tricks (a la this excellent spoof courtesy of South Park) but didn't realize there were parents out there who actually practiced it. Are these the same parents who put their toddlers on leashes too? Coz taking dogs on walks (with a specially modified leash) is like the major takeaway from each DW episode.

I wonder, does it work the other way? Like, if my dog has an accident on the rug, can I put him on the naughty step a la Supernanny?

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I haven't caught this, but many people I know have. There have been 3,900 deaths in the U.S. so far. Protect yourself. Wash your hands often, especially if you have kids. And if you have any questions regarding the current state of this epidemic, check out the CDC website here.

Labels: swine flu

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It's time for parent-teacher conferences for New York City parents. This video was forwarded to me by a parent in my son's class. While not Asian specific, I felt it offered some common sense advice for maximizing the adult learning potential in just 10 minutes.

I agree with the host. 10 minutes is not a lot of time but with a little preparation it might be just enough time.

If you are interested, here's a list of other things you can do in 10 minutes from Associated Content:

Ten Things You Can Do in 10 Minutes
You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish in just 10 minutes.
Read More

Labels: education, K5 blog, parent-teacher conferences, school

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