Today is a landmark day in indie Asian American film--not only is Mike Kang's The Motel out on DVD, but today marks the release of Georgia Lee's Red Doors on DVD as well. While very different, both films tell stories that revolve around issues of family, identity, and the parent-child relationship.
In celebration of these two films, Rice Daddies has teamed up with Kimchi Mamas for a special contest giveaway. To win one of five super prize packs that includes one copy of The Motel DVD and a poster signed by its cast and one copy of Red Doors with accompanying poster, this is what you do:
Since we're always talking dad stuff here, we're gonna switch things up a bit. In the comments to this post, tell us your funniest story about your mom. One entry per person, please--but you can go over to Kimchi Mamas and tell your funniest story about your dad there for a chance at one of 5 identical prize packs.
You have from now until midnight PST this Friday night to enter both contests. (Make sure you give us your e-mail in the comment form.) Winners will be chosen via random drawing this weekend (probably by my daughter pulling names out of a hat, or a bag, or a box, or some other toy strewn across my living room floor), and no, you can't win at both sites. We'll announce the winners on Monday, along with a little something else....
See, to make things a little more interesting, there's a contest within this contest. Between the Rice Daddies and the Kimchi Mamas, whichever site has the most entries is the winner. What happens to the loser? The losing blogteam has to supply three of its contributors to write their most embarassing parenting moment for publication on the winners' site. So, since I know you wanna see City Mama or Eliaday spill the beans right here on Rice Daddies, y'all better get crackalackin'!
Special thanks to Michael at Blanc de Chine films and Deborah at Palm Pictures for making this contest possible!
23 comments:
My mom lives with my sister. So a couple weeks ago, my sis went out of town and I went over to go keep her company for the weekend. When I went to take a shower the first night, I noticed that she didn't have any soap or body wash. I thought, "oh well, she must've just run out". Afterwards, I went to the cabinet where my sis keeps a "supply" of toiletries (I swear it's like a mini-Target in there) and grabbed some shower gel to put in my mom's bathroom. On my way down, my mom asks why I'm getting another bottle of soap when there's already one in there. I tell her that I'm completely puzzled because I was just in there and she didn't have any. So she proceeds into the bathroom and comes out with a pink bottle and (with her limited English) proudly points to the words "body shampoo". I laugh and I explain, "No mom, it's shampoo that gives your HAIR more body. It's 'Extra Body Shampoo' for your HAIR not 'Body Shampoo' for your BODY!". (ba-da-bump. Yeah, I know, not that funny...you had to be there!) =D
Oops, forgot my email: crazyem@hotmail.com. Please no SPAM (unless it's canned)!
I'd tell you a funny story about Mom, but I'm afraid . . . just kidding:
Once when I was a teenager (right around that age when you're completely obnoxious and everything depresses you . . .) I was laying on the couch just being melancholy.
My Mom walked past me. Took a couple of steps backward.
And farted in my face.
She walked off like what she had done was completely normal.
My mom loves organic and loves to make food herself. A couple of years ago, she decided to make her own spaghetti sauce. She diced and cooked a couple of organic tomatoes and then put them in our new blender. Typical of her forgetful self, she forgot to put the lid on the blender and turned the industrial power blender on - bits of tomatoes erupted all over the kitchen. It was in her hair and on her clothes. She even managed to burn herself because the tomatoes were so hot. I couldn't help but laugh when she walked into my room with bits of tomatoes all over her.
henry.tsai@stanford.edu
For as long as I've known her, my mother has been afraid of snakes. Live snakes, dead snakes, pictures of snakes - it doesn't matter; they all freak her out. Watching the Indiana Jones movies was pure torture for her, and it was always my job to let her know when the snakes left the screen. Inevitably I'd tell her the coast was clear and another one would pop up in Indy's face and scare my mother more than it scared the archeologist. When I was out on a bicycle ride with my parents, I was startled by my mother's panicked shrieking and screaming. I looked over to see her bike wobbling precariously as she frantically swerved and stood up on her pedals to avoid running over....a piece of rope.
calypsoisle@gmail.com
Nice site Rice Daddies
My mom is not a child of the technology age. When she first got her ATM card she went to deposit a $600 check.
However she only wanted to deposit $300 and get $300 in cash. Instead of depositing the entire check and then withdrawing $300 she entered a deposit of $300 and inserted the $600 check into the slot.
Then she waited patiently for the machine to give her the $300 she wanted.
Later on she admitted to us she though there was a teller who worked behind (inside?) the ATM.
sdhtran@hotmail.com
ok, this one's kinda long (and probably boring)... mea culpa in advance.
i taught myself how to ride a bike. my mom never learned because my lola (my grandmother, the anti-cyclist, who gave birth to thirteen people) thought you lost your virginity when you rode a bike. so, none of her daughters were allowed near a bicycle. eventually, my mother realized that that was just a myth.
so, when the time came when i whined about wanting to ride a bike, my mom bought me one. it was used and old and rusty and a weird dark purple color but there it was. i got up really early one morning - the streetlamp was still lit. and i got on the bike and fell off, got on and fell off... my mother watched me from the living room window. this went on until about 2 p.m. when i finally figured it all out - bleeding and scarred but happy.
my mom was really proud. and then that pride turned into curiosity... so, she gets on my bike - which was fine, cause she's pretty petite... not that much taller or heavier than i was as a preteen.... she starts falling off, gets back on, falls off... just like me... but, she actually figures it out within an hour or so. she's so excited and happy and smiling. she get's a little too confident and turns around to wave at me. she then proceeds to ride the bike full speed into a bank of thorn bushes that line the perimeter of the meanest lady neighbor on our block.
i run over to my mom and she's fine, save for her ego. my bike's trashed. she's pulling thorns out of her shorts and branches out of her hair. then, the neighbor lady comes out and she's P*SSED and she screams,"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BUSHES!?" at my mom.
my mom and i look at each other for a minute and then, she falls out and starts screaming at me (in the thickest FAKE pilipino accent she can muster) "i told you to be carepull! tarantada! you want to ride a bike!? you want to ride a bike!? now look what youb done! no more bike! 'susmarihosep!" she starts dragging me off, melodramatically screaming in tagalog at me down the block. meanwhile, we're both trying hard not to laugh. my mom was so embarassed and felt so bad about my bike but i was fine. it was just a bike. i was just happy that i figured how to ride it on my own.
anyhoo - my mother never did get back on a bicycle. and weeks later, i found a new (used, mint cond) bike parked in the basement. it was sweet - sky blue, sparkle white banana seat, white wicker basket with plastic pink daisies.
the neighbor's bushes regained their full thorniness by next summer. :)
This one is actually about my mother-in-law on a family trip to Italy when my brother-in-law was 21. He got sick in Italy and had some digestive problems. It was one of those tours where you get on the bus at like 7AM every morning. So, one day my brother-in-law is getting on the bus a little bit late and after my mother-in-law. The next thing you hear is, "SON, HOW'S YOUR DIARRHEA TODAY? IS IT BETTER?" It was in English (my brother-in-law is monolingual) and LOUD. Everyone on the bus was American.
"It's fine, mom." And he spent the rest of the trip trying to hide his 6'5" body in the seat cushions. My mother-in-law is still deliciously unaware that there was any reason for embarrassment.
My email is galenkd at gmail dot com.
My mom thinks that southern american accents are hilarious. She loves the 'twang', but she can't understand a word a southerner is saying. I should preface this by saying my mother loved to watch the television show, Empty Nest, only for the nurse, Laverne. Dad, Mom and I drove from Canada to Texas to see an old college friend of Dad's. Dad's brilliant idea was to stop in Kentucky, 'because they have they have the best Kentucky Fried Chicken there!' [oh god]. So, we go in and order (without hearing the girl behind the counter speak). Upon hearing her say 'do y'all want fries with that?', my mother bursts out laughing. Not a giggle or a titter... full out guffawing. I couldn't help myself and I was laughing too. Through our tears and gasps for air, I DID order some fries to go with our 'authentic' Kentucky Fried Chicken, but we scurried to the car and ate as we drove. We were way too embarrased to eat in.
changst4@msu.edu
My Mom has always tried to be a "Cool Mommy." So, during the 80's when my sis and I were about 13 and 12 respectively, our Mom would rent some American films from the local Asian video store (we grew up in Alhambra, CA - Asians were the majority). She never really paid much attention to the titles. She would sometimes rent the same movies over and over. I saw "Turk 182" about ten times and that James Spader movie where he supposedly had some street cred (remember "Tuff Turf"?) a few dozen more.
However, my Mom came home one day with what appeared to be an animated version of Alice in Wonderland. My sister and I settled down to watch it and found out that it wasn't a cartoon at all. In fact, there were lots of scantily-clothed actors running around in Wonderland. A few minutes into the film, Alice fell into some water and the other actors stripped her completely naked so they could lick her dry. Hmmm, that doesn't really remind me of the Lewis Carroll version of the story. I looked over at my sister. She looked over at me. Then we both screamed "Mom!!!!" Our well-meaning mother had rented a porno for us. Uh, thanks Mom.
loislaneliu@hotmail.com
My parents went on holiday to Alberta, Canada to the Banff Springs Hotel. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's a really amazing resort by the Rocky Mountains.
My Mom decided she wanted to use the hot tub. My Dad was taking a nap so she went down alone. She gets down to the hot tub, takes off her robe and towel and gets in the tub...naked...yes, you read it correctly, no bathing suit.
La, la, la...my Mom is thinking, this feels great, awesome scenery, it's not very crowded. Well, it starts to get busier and guess what, somebody notices my Mom, well, hotel staff are quickly summoned. Boy, do I feel sorry for the person who had to tell my Mom that the hot tub does indeed require a bathing suit.
At this point in the story, my sister and I are in complete shock and we are speechless. Our husbands are on the floor howling with laughter. My Dad who is re-telling the story cannot breathe he is laughing too hard. My poor Mom, her face is completely red and I know she wished that the floor would swallow her up and let her disappear. All we can ask is "why". My Mom can only says "that's what I thought everyone did" and we tell her, yes, that's what everyone does....if you're in a porno movie!!??
My sister and I could not believe that our mother, she's a typical Korean ajumma, very modest, wearing a V-necked blouse is risque for her, none of her skirts are above the knee. But I guess she was going with the flow 'when in Rome, do as the Romans', granted, I don't think any Roman would have wanted to see my naked Mom in a hot tub, but you get the idea. Part of me is a little proud of her,she overcame her natural modesty and decided to take a risk and I have to admire her courage for doing that.
I went backpacking in Western Europe for five weeks two years ago. Even through I heard numerous warnings about purse snatching and thieves that prey on tourists and was sufficiently paranoid about losing my bag, alas, my purse was stolen at a laundromat in Florence. When I got back home and told the story to my family, my mom commented "How could you lose your bag like that? I never do that." To which my dad started cracking up and asked my mom "Don't you remember?" Apparently while I was gone, my parents went on a road trip and had to turn around at one point because my mom had left her purse at a McDonalds along the way.
yubeara@hotmail.com
As a kid, while rifling through my mom's bureau drawer, I came across a box of Tampax. (In those days, Tampax was sold in a discreet, blue box with a white asterisk pattern on it; no logo, no box copy.) Totally befuddled, I asked my mom what these things were and what you did with them. She replied, "You shove them up your ass." I would be confused for many years to come.
I typed up a hilarious story about my mom and somehow it didn't post. Oh well, good luck on the contest. And, thanks for the memories.
It had been rainy and gloomy for the last week, and my favorite shoes were soaked. However, the weather was alot nicer on this particular day. So being the nice person she is, my mom decides to take my shoes outside and lay them out on the front of our car to dry in the sun. Later that afternoon, my mom drove out to run some errands, forgetting the pair of shoes that were still sitting on the car. She was driving along nonchalantly and suddenly when she stopped at the light, the pair of shoes flew up onto the windshield and she screamed, startled. The shoes bounced off the window and landed on the side of the road.
Everyone watched, amused, from their cars as the pair of shoes flew by and a little asian lady ran out from her car to retrieve them.
It had been rainy and gloomy for the last week, and my favorite shoes were soaked. However, the weather was alot nicer on this particular day. So being the nice person she is, my mom decides to take my shoes outside and lay them out on the front of our car to dry in the sun. Later that afternoon, my mom drove out to run some errands, forgetting the pair of shoes that were still sitting on the car. She was driving along nonchalantly and suddenly when she stopped at the light, the pair of shoes flew up onto the windshield and she screamed, startled. The shoes bounced off the window and landed on the side of the road.
Everyone watched, amused, from their cars as the pair of shoes flew by and a little asian lady ran out from her car to retrieve them.
tsai.ashley@gmail.com
When I was about nine or ten, I played pee-wee football. Living in a small Texas town, this was quite normal. So, every Saturday morning, we would all get up early and drive to whatever town was hosting that week's game. Well, we had just gotten a video camera. My dad brought the camera to tape the game with the idea that I could watch myself later and improve my technique.
My mom came to the United States when she was seventeen and her English accent is a curious mixture of Korean and Texan. She also has this habit of getting very excited during sporting events.
So, when we get home, my dad pulls the tape out and we start watching. A little ways in, a kid for the other team breaks off a run. All of a sudden, all you hear on the audio with that funny accent I was describing earlier is, "TACKLE 'IM, DUMBSHIT! TACKLE HIM!"
My mom is in the other room out of earshot and I'm mortified. "Eomma! Please tell me you were standing off by yourself at my game."
"No, why?"
"I think I want to die."
My dad was laughing the whole time and told me they were in the crowd with everyone else. He said he was surprised I didn't hear her during the game, she was so loud. I got some ribbing from my teammates after that. We even started calling one play "Dumbshit" in the huddle.
galenkd at gmail dot com
I took my mom to a ballet one time for some mother-daughter bonding time. I'm a semi-fan of ballet, while my mom is partial to opera, but I didn't anticipate her practically falling asleep during the show. Midway through the second half, I whispered,"what do you think of the second half?". She replied in a full voice, "GOD, I AM SOOO BORING". Many people around us turned their heads in annoyance to glare at the boring woman, who was actually "bored".
knack26@yahoo.com
One day on a family car trip to some new chinese restaurant in the LA area, my mom gets all excited as we pass a yet another strip mall:
"Oh, lets stop THERE, the sign says they have free chicken!"
But, alas, it was a bank. and all they had was free checking.
That's my mom, she sees what she wants to see :)
This one is about my mother-in-law. When I was pregnant with my first kid, my mother-in-law was telling me to make sure not to eat too much chocolate and not to drink too much coffee. I was thinking, oh, she must be reading up about how to stay healthy during pregnancy, which kind of surprised me because she tends to be more of the superstitious or whismiscal type. But then she added "...so that the baby doesn't come out too brown." Ah, ok! (celiaseeme@yahoo.com)
My MIL grew up in an upper-class Korean household. For instance, she never walked to school until she was 12 years old...because a maid carried her.
Anyway, a few years ago I took Korean lessons. My husband moved to the States when he was 5 years old and his Korean is a bit rusty. I kept coming home from lessons and trying to talk to him. In English he would grumble, "What are you talking about? Your accent is awful."
His Mom came to visit soon after that. I told her this story and she put her hand over her mouth as she giggled. "It's cause I have a Southern accent. Like Georgia. He doesn't know any better. They teach you right, but he doesn't know."
--------
Another time she bought me a shirt, wrist-watch and earrings and made me go try them on. When I came back she said, "You look so good, you look so pretty, you look so wealthy." I told a couple of my friends about that one. So now at odd moments we say to each other, "Wow! You look so wealthy!"
What Asian doesn’t have a story about his or her Overprotective Asian Mother? Back in 2002, when the Beltway sniper shootings were terrorizing Maryland, I was attending school in Baltimore. As soon as the horrifying story hit the national news, I was not at all surprised to receive a frantic call from my Overprotective Asian Mother.
“You know about sniper? You stay inside. Don’t go outside,” mom commanded.
“Mom,” I complained, “I know you’re worried about me, but these snipers haven’t been anywhere near my area.”
“So, you want get shot, huh?”
“I can’t just stay holed up in my apartment. I have to get groceries. And I have to go to school. You want me to do well at *school* don’t you?” (Any Asian knows this is a good argument to throw in an Overprotective Asian Mother’s face.)
“Fine!” Mom grumbled. “Stubborn girl, you go to school. But when you go outside, you run in zig-zag, everywhere you go. Promise me you run in zig-zag, not walk.”
“What? Why on earth…?”
“It harder to shoot you that way,” mom explained sagely.
“Okay, sure, mom.”
I know what you may be thinking--*lots* of mothers were worried about their offspring in Maryland at that time. But I still think that my mom takes the award. A few minutes after she phoned me, my Overprotective Asian Mother phoned my sister, who was attending college in *Kansas* at the time.
“You hear about sniper? You stay inside. Don’t go outside!”
“But mom,” my sister protested, “you know that the snipers are in Maryland, right?”
“Yes, I know. But people are crazy. You stay inside…”
My 5'4" Korean dad is only funny when he's being earnest. Majority of the time, he has the Napoleon complex.
1. In the car, he is driving, going to drop me off at school. Out of the blue, he sneezes the loudest dog bark with icky evidence splattering on the windshield. "Oops, so sorry," he says, while turning on the wipers.
2. Mom is giving dad the silent treatment over a fight for the 3rd day now. She is in bed, boycotting all household duties and meal cooking. He is hungry, ready to move on, and in his "I don't remember why she is like this" mode. He walks into the bedroom, lifts up her blanket and says, "Are the eggs hatched yet?"
3. A new Kohls opened up in our area. Mom asks, "I wonder what kind of store that is." Dad answers, "Don't even bother to shop there. They only sell bathroom faucets."
Post a Comment