Friday, July 21, 2006

Asian Guys Dating CL Women Who Drive Nice Cars

Huh? What’s with the cryptic title you may ask? Who’s this Newbie Dad person, how did he get on this blog and WTF does this have to do with raising Rice Babies?!? Well, since you're probably wondering, I'll start with a bit of an introduction and some background. My name is Michael (and I’ve got a nickel) and I’m Filipino-American. My wife Anna is Caucasian. We’ve been married for just over 3 years and have a 6 1/2 month-old baby boy named Aidan.( I first came across this site last week and knew I had to somehow get involved. The stories and subject matter really spoke to me. But before I start posting about my experiences as a dad, I would like to start with a little something about my dating experiences as a single Asian-American male living in SF.

Before Anna and I met, I was dating pretty actively. A lot of people lament about how tough the dating scene is in SF. Well, try being a short Asian guy. Speaking of stereotypes, a lot of Caucasian women didn’t want to date you because you were Asian, a lot of Asian women didn’t want to date you because you weren’t White, and the women who didn’t care if you were Asian or not didn’t want to date you because you were too short. Now remember, I’m stereotypically speaking and painting with a very broad brush. But a lot of times that’s how it truly felt. Of course, it eventually worked out for me, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.

Now, about the title of this post. It was the Summer of 2002 and Anna and I had been dating for about a year-and-a-half. An online flame war had just broken out on the Missed Connections section of Craig’s List, also respectively known as MC and CL for short. Basically, there were a bunch of people posting misconceptions not only about Asian men, but on a whole slew of different topics. The posts ran the gamut from: different online dating sites (CL rules/sucks), women who drive nice cars (they’re stuck up), various religious beliefs (no, my way is right), the best bus line to meet people (the N Judah), short guys (can’t get a date), Interracial dating (doesn’t work), the different SF neighborhoods (Mission=Indie Hipster, Marina=Yuppie Snob), etc. It was a free for all with some of the most racist, hateful, clueless and hurtful postings I had ever read. In a strange and surreal sort of way, I became the nexus of the seemingly unrelated topics as they all became directly relevant to my life at the time.

At first, I prepared my own angry and hateful response to all the madness. But I soon realized that it would only add fuel to the fire and my response would simply get lost in all the clutter. So I tried to think of a way to defuse the situation, or at least inject a bit of humor and perspective that would make people think twice about the myths and misconceptions of all these subjects. The title practically wrote itself as it tied together multiple topics in a goofy and attention grabbing way. I also decided to use a poem to tell the tale about my own personal trials, tribulations, and of course eventual triumph in the SF dating scene. It didn’t stop the flame war, but it at least gave people something else to discuss even for a short while. The post even made “Best of Craigslist”. The formatting of the post is all screwed up on the CL site, so I’m reposting it here. Hope you enjoy it.

Asian Guys Dating CL Women Who Drive Nice Cars
Once upon a time when I was a single man
I devised a solution and came up with a plan

I prayed every day to Jesus, Allah and Buddha
Please make me an MC while I ride the N Judah

That didn't work so I checked other sites online
To find my true love and make someone mine

AOL was promising at first then it got really bad
When "You've Got Mail" meant another porn ad

Yahoo wasn't much better I soon came to realize
With lots of gay men replying in female disguise was definitely much better I can report
But alas for most women I was 6 inches too short

So I finally made a return like a prodigal son
Back to Craig's List where my search had begun

I dated them all Latin, Asian, White, and Black
From the Mission and Marina and all the way back

I also dated Indies and Yuppies and had lots of fun
But it was in CL Classes where I finally met the one

We met in a class while getting healthy and fit
Ah yes love happens when you least expect it

It doesn't matter that I'm Asian or that she's White
For both of us it was love and lust at first sight

Now I don't mean to boast and I don't mean to brag
But my girlfriend kicks ass and she drives a nice Jag

So for anyone left that's tired of the anger here today
Remember Love Conquers All in this City By The Bay


MetroDad said...

Welcome aboard, Newbie Dad! I hereby nominate you as our official Poet Laureate. Great post. Looking forward to reading more.

R2Dad said...

Looking forward to your posts from the Sunset. re: Backstreet Boys video--killin' me! Aidan will find this video on the web in 10 years time and not speak to you for a week!

Outer Parkside

Violet said...

It's hard for Asian women too, because (and I'm generalising hugely here) the white guys think we'll be demure, obedient and able to produce wonderful Asian meals on spec. And the Asian guys want someone to support them in their accounting careers.

All spoken with tongue firmly in cheek, of course.

DMB said...

I'm a little white girl who loves her short Filipino-American husband - but I don't really drive a nice car. We have a Civic.

I've always found Asian guys more attractive though - my husband knows that if Sung Kang or DDK happen to stop by my way, it's on.

Our CL can be really useful, but unfortunately there are a lot of angry people surfing there. Thanks for the poem!

Deirdre said...

Darn it. I thought we had the only hapa Aidan in existence.