It's funny. Despite my Asian exterior, I've always been an All-American kind of guy. I love baseball, apple pie, hot dogs and Chevrolet. Having been born in NYC, I've spent the majority of my life straddling the line between the country of my birth and the heritage of my culture. I've put kimchi on my hamburgers. I've mixed sake with my Budweiser. And, to the chagrin of all my Asian friends, I sing classic rock songs when we go out for karaoke.
But just in case there was any doubt about my progressive path towards assimilation, I think yesterday pretty much confirmed for me that you can never truly escape your past.
As I sat on my couch watching the Mets game, eating some dried octopus and drinking a glass of scotch, I realized that not only was I wearing a Korean soccer jersey and flip flops but also that my breath totally reeked of kimchi and I smelled like a Korean taxi cab driver. Furthermore, I found myself yelling at the television while cutting my toenails at the same time.
Holy crap, I'm turning into my father!!!
Quick, somebody stop me before I start speaking in monosyllabic grunts, cutting my own hair, and blowing snot rockets onto the ground!
7 comments:
OMG i am laughing MAO!!!
HAHAHA! You are a ridiculously funny man, MD! I think it's safe to say that you're probably pretty different from your father!
Seriously funny stuff, MD! No, no doubt here. :)
This was hysterical!! I can totally relate to the toenail clipping -- my Chinese-American husband will clip his toenails when guests are over!
DS-L
What's wrong with snot rockets? It's clean distribution without the disruption in your flow. Useful on the soccer field, too, as evidenced multiple times during WC2006.
I've blown a few out the car window, much to the chagrin of anyone in the backseat.
SD
holy crap. This IS what my beautiful, sensitive, and goodlooking boyfriend is going to turn into.
haha.
At least you use nail clippers to clip toe nails. MJ doesn't own a pair, and tears them off instead.
We've talked about this snot rocket thing before...although I've never witnessed it. Not yet. Thank Heaven.
Resistance is futile. You become your ancestors. Warn your wife and kids.
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