Psst. Hey, so um, are you guys doing the Santa thing?
Yeah I know, its kind of hokey, and kind of traditional, and yeah, I know Santa is a big bearded white guy. But, dude, being Asian-American means being able to cherry-pick the best from the Buffet of Multiculturalism, and a fat man handing out presents sounds pretty upside to me.
The thing is, Rabbit Dragon, my first grader, he kind of suspects. You know, that it's me and Mrs Thisislarry. It's like we have to lie to him, you know just a little bit, just to keep it up one more time, like a jewel thief doing his last heist so he can retire.
No worries, I've got it figured out though: when the gig is up, we'll say something sweet about how "we're ALL Santa's helpers" and the music will swell and the credits will roll. And We. Will. Be. Heroes.
But, shit, you're right, I forgot about Princess Pony, she's still in preschool. So, yeah, that means I've got to recruit Rabbit Dragon into the deception for a couple of years, until we can make the sequel, and HE (played by Yul, of course) can be the one that says to his sister, [zoom to close up] "But sis, we're ALL Santa's helpers."
So, I guess we're already in it, in too deep to get out now. Last year the big S wrote the kids a thank you note. It didn't really make an impression, not like the extra set of presents did. Its almost like...
Hey, wait, you think they KNOW? You think we're being played? Dude, I didn't even think of it that way, but wow, you know, I don't know, I don't know. You think they KNOW?
Oh man, too late now, I have to run. Have to get something to put in those socks up by the anachronistic fire pit sticking out the side of my house. Wish me luck, Princess Pony is home from school today and I don't think I can Oh shit she's coming in right now I have to