Wednesday, December 06, 2006

To a fellow father

For me personally, in tough times, the last things I want to hear are the opinions of others. I don’t want the condolences of those who cannot grasp the situation that I am in; I don’t care for the support offered by those who have not shared a similar burden. I’ll appreciate the effort but in the end it’s just the family that really understands. I cannot help those who are suffering today, I cannot really help anyone. But I can sit here and cry, and add a bit of sorrow for a man I did not know out towards the universe. I can try to honor a father’s memory and praise his courage. I can find some relief in the thought that everything he was fighting for in the end he has achieved. His family is safe, his children are out of harms way. In moments of tragedy we often overcome by emotion, we hold our family tighter; we call out to the ones we love. We tell one another we love them. And we go another day. And as time passes, tragedy’s wake softens. Communities forget, people move on. I don’t want to move on. I want to remember the courage of this man. I want to carry it in my heart. I want people to think of his memory and speak his name when they talk about strength, courage, and the love of a father. I want to bear the memory of the strength it took for a man to save his family, and hopefully years from now, when the headline pass and people move on, I want to still be moved to tears by the strength and honor of this man. I hope we all can carry forward in our hearts the memory of James Kim.

11 comments:

daddy in a strange land said...

I've just had to leave my desk at work again, so I don't lose it in front of my coworkers. I want to go home and hold my wife and daughter tight and not let go. I want James, a man I've never met, to be able to do the same with his wife and children. But that's not going to happen.

So all I can do is think about fathers and mothers and daughters and sons and the ties of love that bind us, reread Henri's words again, and with every spiritual molecule in my non-relgious body, silently say, Amen.

The Newbie Dad said...

I'm working in SF today and actually just a few blocks away from the CNET building. I never met him personally, but I have read his articles on the CNET web site. I also have friends who work at CNET. My heart and condolences go out to his family and friends.

Anonymous said...

He died trying to save his family. That's the most honorable, noble, loving death I can think of. It's terrible and heartbreaking, but think of how loved those little girls will forever know they were and are.

I wish he had known they were safe when he died. I hope that wherever he is now, he is elated by their safe and healthy return to society.

Anonymous said...

My heart breaks for them.

superha said...

He is truly an amazing man.

Anonymous said...

There are daddies who are lost early in a child's life because they neglect themselves and those around them... I lost mine to alcoholism. Then there are daddies who are lost doing the very most they can for those they love... Kati and the girls can find solace in knowing that James had but one thing on his mind... their wellbeing. Knowing that a daddy made such a sacrifice will be a comfort. God bless them all.

Grrrlfriend Jess said...

One of the reasons I felt so connected to this family is because I could see my own husband making the same choice to set out in search of rescue. That thought alone made me well up and afraid. This whole tragedy speaks to the lengths may people will go to everyday simply by being parents and partners and for love.

OTRgirl said...

This whole thing has been so hard. I'm amazed and grateful that his family paid for helicopters to search. I don't know that either of our families would have ever thought of it if we were missing. After they found Kati and the girls I wanted the total happy ending and it's heartbreaking to not get it.

daddy in a strange land said...

Go read this:
http://sweetjuniper.blogspot.com/2006/12/elegy-for-father.html

Dutch said...

thanks, DIASL, for sending some folks over; it led me here to Henri's wonderful post. I wish more dads would have written about this.

Dexter said...

Great post. As a father of a seven month old boy, I can't fathom the decisions that James Kim had to help his wife and daughters.