The APA Parenting Meme

Mombloggers and dadbloggers who happen to be Asian Pacific American (APA) have been sharing their unique experiences at the intersection of race, culture, family and parenting with the blogosphere for a while now.  We [we being Eliaday of the Kimchi Mamas and daddy in a strange land of the Rice Daddies] thought an APA Parenting Meme would be a fun way to open up dialogue and get ideas flowing (for those of us afflicted with writer's block or blog fatigue).  We're not experts, and in no way are we trying to be definitive or essentialist—we just hope that these questions will get us started talking about experiences we have in common as APA parents, things we don't talk about and share enough.  We're posting our answers to this meme on both our solo and group blogs and tagging 3 of our blogging brothas and sistas to represent and then tag some more.  The questions are short, but, like everything, are open to interpretation—as is this meme, so hapas, transracial adoptees, non-Asians who married in, immigrants to 6th-generation, parents of teens or folks still planning their first, you're all game.

I'm tagging MetroDad, Poppa Large, and Lumpyhead's Mom.


1. I am:
Japanese-Jewish-American; hapa yonsei; multiracial Asian American; all of the above; depends...

2. My kids are:
Filipina-Japanese-Jewish-American; multiethnic Asian American; whatever they wanna be

3. I first realized I was APA when:
We had to do projects on family history and cultural background in elementary school

4. People think my name is:
Justin Spielberg; Mr. [wife’s surname that they mispronounce anyway]; Jose (“You mean you don’t speak Spanish? But you look...”)

5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is:
Family mealtime and gatherings around food

6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is:
Our unique blend of Japanese shame and Jewish guilt

7. My child's first word in English was:
Waldo (our dog)

8. My child's first non-English word was:
Hola (as in, “Hola! I’m Dora, and this is my friend Boots!")

9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is:
Baliktad ("backwards" in Tagalog)

10. One thing I love about being an APA parent is:
Looking forward to teaching my daughter to stand up for what she believes in

11. One thing I hate about being an APA parent is:
Dealing with the effects of others’ stereotypes and ignorance on my daughter

12. The best thing about being part of an APA family is:
The importance and strength of the family bond

13. The worst thing about being part of an APA family is:
Standing up to prejudice and ignorance within one’s own family

14. To me, being Asian Pacific American means:
Knowing where you’ve been so that you know where you’re going