DOH!

Ok, first, read this story. It's about how Des Moines mom Jane Hambleton sold her son's car after finding a bottle of liquor under the front seat. It's earned her some instant celebrity.

Then take an extra close look at the photo.

Bad son, bad!

ANHUI TO PROSPECT PARK

Ok, a more cheery story to counter the sheer badness of the previous one:

Fro the NYT: "Fortune’s Sisters"

Three Chinese orphans who were cribmates in China are adopted - by coincidence - by three families who all live in the same neighborhood in Brooklyn.

TRAGEDY IN ALABAMA

Police: Dad Threw 4 Children Off Bridge

By GARRY MITCHELL – 1 hour ago

BAYOU LA BATRE, Ala. (AP) — A day after reporting his four young children were missing, a shrimp fisherman broke down and confessed that he threw them off an 80-foot-high bridge to their deaths, authorities said Wednesday.
Lam Luong, 37, was charged with four counts of capital murder, and divers searched the murky waters for the bodies of the youngsters, who ranged in age from a few months to 3 years.

Luong had a drug habit and had argued with his wife, Ngoc Phan, before taking the children, said Phan's brother-in-law, Kam Phengsisomboun.
Luong's girlfriend, who was living in a hotel in nearby Gulfport, Miss., figured into the couple's argument on Sunday and then on Monday morning, family members and police said.

Authorities said they believe Luong then drove Monday to the two-lane Dauphin Island bridge over the Intracoastal Waterway, stopped at the highest part of the span and threw the youngsters over the side.
Luong and his wife reported the children missing Monday. He initially told police that he had given the kids to his girlfriend and that she failed to return them, investigators and family members said.
But authorities said they found holes in his account, and he later changed his story.

Missing and presumed dead were 4-month-old Danny Luong; 1-year-old Lindsey Luong; 2-year-old Hannah Luong; and 3-year-old Ryan Phan. Phan is not the man's biological child, but Luong raised him from infancy, authorities said.
About 70 people in boats and helicopters searched water as deep as 55 feet. The search area covered 100 square miles because the current might have swept the children away, Sheriff Sam Cochran said.
The search was called off late Wednesday afternoon when dense fog rolled in, completely obscuring the bridge. It was to resume in the morning, weather permitting.

Luong was scheduled to appear in court Thursday. District Attorney John Tyson said he did not believe Luong had a lawyer.
Luong came to Alabama from Vietnam in 1984 and worked as a shrimper, Phengsisomboun said. The couple lived with Phan's mother at Bayou La Batre, a fishing village 20 miles southwest of Mobile with a large Southeast Asian community.

Phengsisomboun said the couple had recently moved back to the area from Hinesville, Ga.

The family initially feared he had traded the children to support his drug habit, Phengsisomboun said. Luong had a crack habit and had run through an insurance settlement from an auto accident, he said.
Phengsisomboun said he was later told by investigators that a witness had seen someone throw a bundle from the bridge and then saw three children in a nearby car.

Authorities in Mobile confirmed Luong had a history of drug abuse but had no details.

He was arrested in October in Hinesville on a crack-possession charge. The case has not been acted on by a grand jury.

Phan, 23, was in seclusion Wednesday morning at her mother's brick home, the front porch cluttered with children's shoes.

Some family members and friends held out hope that the children weren't dead.
"I just pray for the kids, that they are still alive," said Van Lam, a family friend who was at a market with Phan's mother Wednesday afternoon.

Lemons to Lemonade

Way back in 2006, Mrs. SoulSnax and I put ourselves on a "modified media diet." We did this to avoid pissing our money away to producers of diversity-negligent media/entertainment content. When we became parents earlier this year, our 2007 resolution was to take those savings, and donate them to diversity-oriented education.

A few weeks ago, a large envelope arrived in the mail from DonorsChoose.org. It contained photos and letters of thanks from students who benefited from the educational programs that we helped to fund through the RiceDaddies Empowerment in Diversity Challenge.

Upon reading through the letters and viewing the snapshots, I realized that I was holding tangible proof that a modified media diet can actually change the world! Just think: money that would have gone to producers of diversity-negligent content were diverted, and instead, helped to fund the education of kids in a way that helps to empower them by virtue of their diversity. Our 2007 New Year's Resolution has truly paid off!

You too, can also make a difference. Right now, you have a little less than 72 hours to make your last tax-deductible contribution for 2007. We've added six new proposals to the challenge, since your generosity has already funded the previous twelve proposals:

• Pen-pals say Gung Hay Fat Choy!
• Bringing The World Into The Classroom
• Cultural Awareness Wanted
• What in the World Are You Reading? (Asian Literature)
• Coming of Age in China
• Multicultural Celebrations Books

Launched in June 2007, the RiceDaddies Empowerment in Diversity Challenge aims to mitigate the marginalizing effects of diversity-negligent pop culture and media by funding innovative educational programs that do the following:

• Promote positive images of ourselves for our children
• Promote positive images of ourselves for other people and their children
• Develop skills in our children that empower them to be leaders in the world in which we live
• Promote pride in one's culture instead of shame
• Promote self-respect and appreciation for others like ourselves
• Develop our children's ability to use their imaginations in an empowering way
• Encourage our children to be who they truly are

Jolie in Training

For lil' Sunshine's first Christmas, Mrs. SoulSnax ordered one of those rare Asian dolls, because she wanted Sunshine's first doll to be Asian.

"Too late," I told her, because lil' Sunshine already had a doll, and it's a pretty little black doll in a pink dress.

"Aww... well that's cool, at least she's got some variety in there," Mrs. SoulSnax replied. "All my dolls were blonde and had blue eyes. And I grew up in the Philippines."

"Yeah, well a few more of these, and we can call her Angelina."

UPDATE: We've received a cease and desist order from the Philippine Colonial Ministry. Apparently, in our efforts to bolster the self-esteem of young Filipino children, we have been "complicit in undermining the Philippine media's Cultural Subjugation Programme."

We have been instructed to indoctrinate our daughter in the value of aspiring toward lighter skin and big, round eyes. They recommend that we give our daughter the same blue-eyed blonde-haired dolls that her mother had as a child.

Furthermore, they recommend that she watch any of the telenovelas on The Filipino Channel (TFC), since they feature a lot of mestizo "actors."

The "S" Word Revisted

It's that time of year again, when the existence of that jolly red-shirted fella is called into question. Last year it was a toss-up for me. This year, its been so busy we haven't even had time to think about it. But the kids are getting older and wiser (and asking for cellphones!).

So, ricedaddies and ricemommies, what's your verdict this year: is there a Santa Claus? Or is he just a freak in a velour suit?

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Next Generation

Arrrrrh! Me boy wants to be a pirate after his maiden voyage to the Magic Kingdom early last month. Here he is on YouTube singin' the pirate theme song.

I Pick You

Piggybacking on ThisisLarry's post on ear wax, I love my ear pick. They have them at every Japanese sundry shop right by the cash register. I've even seen a Hello Kitty version.

When we were kids my mom would hold our heads and scoop out wads of ear wax with the bamboo pick. It was like getting your back scratched. When I got old enough, I figured out every nook and cranny of my ear hole and went to town. I still do it every day, much to the chagrin of Otolaryngologists, my wife who has to deal with the remnants on the bathroom sink, and friends unfamiliar with Asian ear canal hygiene who happen to catch me in my boxers, head askew, concentrating, sticking what looks like a torture device in my ear and scraping with impunity.

Now, being a father, I get a little freaked out just inserting a Q-Tip into my son's ear though I remember clearly how good it felt as a kid to have my ears cleaned. What if he moves his head? What if an earthquake hits and something knocks my arm? What if I have a muscle spasm and ram the thing into his eardrum?

How do you clean your kids ears? And do they like it?

SD

World Domination, One Ear At a Time

It seems the pace of human evolution has been accelerating recently -recently being, in evolutionary terms, the last 5000 years.

Of course, like in any good contest, there are winners and losers, as Reuters reports it:

"For example, Africans have new genes providing resistance to malaria. In Europeans, there is a gene that makes them better able to digest milk as adults. In Asians, there is a gene that makes ear wax more dry."

So you can see obviously who came out ahead. ahem. rice daddies rule.

WTF! Really, five thousand years of Confucianism, Haiku, Bi Bim Bop, and Thriller, and this is all we get? Drier ear wax? This is our genetic heritage to pass on to our kids?

Remember you saw it here first, when the seas rise and all around others you are complaining about Swimmer's Ear.

Flaming Lips Balm

The past few days I've been thinking about James Kim and one thing that really brought a smile to my face was reading a Yelp review that his wife Kati wrote about a club in the city. And although some might imagine that she should act the grieving widow 24 hours a day, forever and a day, I couldn't disagree more. Getting on with happiness, or as close as you can get to it, is what it's all about. Grief is love's weight. It doesn't get lighter. Our backs just get a bit shiftier. I smile at the thought of her dancing. So before I forget, let me leave a message to my family in case one day I'm gone way too soon....

1) Crap I'm sorry. I'm an awesome guy, I'm sure you miss me.
2) Laugh and dance as soon as you can. I'll be laughing too...actually I'm laughing at your dancing.

And above all else remember... all of life's answers can be found in the Flaming Lips.