Challenge Update: New Educational Proposal Added

Since you just got paid on Friday, we've added another educational proposal for you to fund through the RiceDaddies Empowerment in Diversity Challenge: Developing Cultural Self Awareness with Literacy and Art.

This new proposal engages 2nd grade students in activities that promote pride in who they are. The program will use books like The Skin I'm In, Black is Brown is Tan, The Colors of Us, and Nappy Hair and Cornrolls as a bridge for students to embrace their skin color and hair texture as well as that of others.

Meanwhile, the proposal Myself & Others has received additional funding since last week, and now needs only $81 to complete funding!! C'mon, go ahead and complete this proposal... you can do it!

Remember, InstantYang and his wife will be graciously matching all donations from now through July 4. So, keep your contributions coming. Your donation of $10, $20, $100, or $1000 could be worth double through Independence Day! Doesn't that make you feel good inside?

Donate Now!

UPDATE: And thanks to Daddy in a Strange Land for suggesting our latest proposal. If you have any suggestions for educational proposals that are in line with the RiceDaddies Empowerment in Diversity Challenge, don't hesitate to post them here.

He'll Live

DISCLAIMER: This article dispenses Monster Daddy advice that should be followed at your own risk. So far it has worked for him as his Monsters have not broken any bones or lost any eyes - yet, but give it time as his children are still young.

A few years ago when my wife and I were still a single Monster family and Number One Monster was only 1 year old, we were at a playground. Number One Monster was playing and somehow came to be hanging off the edge of the playset by his hands, his feet were about 1 ft above the soft sandy floor. My wife screamed to me to go get him as he was going to fall. I shrugged and said he's trying to climb back on, give him a chance.

"He'll get hurt!"

"He'll live!" I retort.

THUNK! He lands on his back, then WAHHHHHHHHHHH!

My wife glared at me as she started to rush over but I stopped her and said I'll take care of it. I picked him up (he was alright as I predicted, just a little shock) and after a little more crying I asked him, "Do you want to keep crying or play?" After a little more whimpering, he stopped and went back to the playset like nothing happened.

Fast forward three more Monsters and now my wife has gotten used to my schtick with the kids. Tripping, falling, scrapes and cuts, etc. It's all the same to me, I pick up my crying kid and ask the same question. 9 times out of 10 they stop crying and completely forget they ever got hurt. And if it's their fault I usually hit them with the "Be more careful.. If you weren't fooling around... Pay more attention..." lines. Sometimes, I even make them to say sorry. Dang, I am a Monster Daddy, LOL!

I bring this up because I read a recent article around Father's Day about how dads and moms react differently when kids get hurt. Basically, it said that mom's first instinct is to empathize and comfort. Dads, less so.

Personally, I believe kids tend to turn to their parents for a cue. If the parent goes into a hysterical fit, the kid knows he/she is supposed to cry and make a big deal out of it. Seriously, one time my son was running along a steep slope, slipped and rolled down about 5 ft. When he stopped, he had this anxious look on his face and immediately looked at me. No crying, he just looked at me for a cue. And I laughed and said "Great trick!" and then he started laughing, got up and ran around like an idiot again.

When Number Two Monster would cry it would be like an on/off switch. One time, he was crying inconsolably and I finally got frustrated and blurted out, "Are you done yet?" To my utter surprise, he completely stopped and said, "Yes." That's all, I just needed to ask him a question.

Can't tell you how much of my sanity (especially with 4 Monsters) has been saved by simply not reacting to their hysteria and changing their perspective. Time spent crying isn't time spent playing - hey that logic really works with kids!!! (And I never need to bribe them.)

My wife has sorta gotten used to this. She knows if I think the kids will live, I'm going to let them do whatever risky activity it is they are doing. Now I have a purpose behind the madness, IMHO kids need to learn and failing, getting hurt, etc. is simply part of the learning process.

Which is why I try and keep my Mom away from watching the kids when they do risky things. She gets hysterical over EVERYTHING and never let's my kids do anything. Yes, you Asian daddies all know the type! While it might be great to have grandma babysit sometimes, watch out!

IMHO my crazy methods are working. Lots of friends and family have commented on how outgoing and confident the Monsters are. And there are practical benefits. When Number One Monster took it upon himself at age 3 to take his 1 year old brother downstairs and feed him he made a mess. My response was clean it up and do better next time. (I know my Mom would have told him to never ever do that again.) When Number One Monster at age 5 asked if he could bathe his brother (3) and sister (1) in the tub, I said, "Sure but you also have to dry both of them too and not make a mess." (Don't worry, I watched from afar. Quite cute seeing him lifting the baby in and out of the tub and lathering her up.) Sure enough there was a big watery mess but I made him clean it up and he got better the next time. (That was 4 years ago and since then he has bathed all his siblings all by himself, WOOHOO!) Now he's clipping bushes, takes out the trash. Working on him mowing the lawn and vacuuming soon, LOL!

So if "He'll live" maybe it's worthwhile to let your child take a few chances. As long as he/she gets the right message when they fail it will work out in the long run. (Just first make sure you and the spouse are capable of handling it and no grandparents are around!)

What should this RiceDaddy Drive?

For Father's Day, I was supposed to have picked out a new car. Needless to say, I've been slacking off on that matter, not that I don't want a new car. I've just had a hard time deciding. But now that we've got the baby, and we're moving out to the 'burbs, we're really gonna need something that'll comfortably fit me, my wife, the baby, her baby gear, Costco-sized groceries, bikes, and some camping gear.

I need something versatile.

It's gotta be safe and it's gotta be comfy. And it's gotta be nimble enough to avoid the antics of stray NYC cab drivers & certain Jersey drivers. It's gotta be age-appropriate too, so you won't be seeing me in a Benz, a Cadillac or a Town Car anytime soon.

I've spent a fortune on pothole-related repairs on my VW Golf, so the next car's gotta be capable of handling the chapped, cracked and blistery roads of the Northeast, with a minimal amount of maintenance. I've also been through many a nor'easter, so all-wheel-drive is a must.

I want something that handles like a car, though, so most SUVs are out. Not that I have a moral aversion to them, I just prefer not to flip over while taking hairpin turns at 75mph.

It's gotta have room, but like I mentioned in the last RiceDaddies podcast, I'm just not mature enough psychologically ready for a minivan. So, a good compromise, I guess, would be a station wagon. Station wagons are cool again. In a few years, everyone's gonna want one. You'll see.

So here are the candidates:

• BMW 325xi SportWagon: I've driven the sedan, and it handles like a dream. It fits me like a glove, like it was built just for me. So I figure the wagon can't be much different. I also luvvv its hrrUmmm when you turn the key. It's orgasssmic.

• Subaru Outback 2.5XT Wagon: Subaru is famous for its proven four-wheel drive system and solid boxer engine. And its rally-racing heritage really intrigues me. And unlike most other Japanese cars, the Outback actually feels solid.
  

• VW Passat 4Motion Wagon: If the Jetta Station Wagon TDI was still available in the USA, I'd get it in a heartbeat, and convert it to run on biodiesel or soybean oil. But alas, it's no longer available in this country. So the next best thing would be the Passat, and it's available with all wheel drive!

Cars I've ruled out right off the bat, mainly cuz they're not my style:

• Volvo: don't see myself in one
• Saab: ditto, one of them is a rebadged Subaru WRX
• Ford: been there, done that (drove an F-150 years ago)
  
• Mercedes E-class wagon: just cuz I'm a suburban Asian dad doesn't mean I have to look like one
• Dodge Magnum: I need something I can park easily
• Audi A3: What's the point? Audis are just VWs for guys with small pee pees

Further Evaluation
I was |<-this close->| to making a beeline to the BMW dealership. |<-THIS CLOSE!->| What healthy red-blooded guy does not want a Beamer? But mom says they're a hassle to maintain. And a friend told me today that he's looking to replace his with something other than a Beamer cuz his is falling apart after only a couple of years. Furthermore, I like rugged. Last I checked, BMWs weren't known for being rugged.

Considering how poorly my VWs have dealt with potholes and crappy roads, I think I'm done with with these Nazimobiles. They can get away with being less than solid cuz they're built for German roads, which are far superior to American ones. Ich habe ein Nazimobil für verkaufen. Möchten Sie ein Nazimobil?

With the Outback, I have one problem: It's bigger, but not much bigger than my Golf. So what would be the point of replacing it with the Outback? Well, considering its aforementioned rally-racing heritage, perhaps it could handle crappy roads a lot better. And with its 5-star crash test safety rating, it beat the pants off the other two contenders (4-stars each for VW & BMW). The daddy in me now says safety trumps style. Also, other Outback owners testify that they're virtually maintenance free.

At this point, I've just about eliminated the Passat. So it's pretty much between the BMW and the Outback right now, though the Outback has more of the emotional pull at the moment. I never thought I'd say that. Perhaps the RiceDaddy in me longs for a RiceWagon?

So, dear readers, what should it be? Enlighten this RiceDaddy, please!

lolkids

Soccer Dad: Why We Write

For some, writing is a solitary experience. The sole reason is for self-expression, to scratch a creative itch dwelling deep inside. For others, it's about standing up for the little guy, to right wrongs and spring innocents from jail. Then there's the addictive quality of spotting your hard work staring back from the newsstand, or seeing some people at the coffee shop engaged in something you wrote.

Whatever the motivation, nothing prepares you for the day when you dazedly walk into a fried chicken joint after a long day of moving stuff to see this huge vinyl poster next to the soda machine:



That quote is a snippet from a mini review I quickly scribbled off about ten years ago, when I was helping out the food section of the paper I worked for. The piece was about Popeye's Fried Chicken, and how the recipes are derived from respected cajun chefs. Really, their red beans and rice is the bomb. I thought nothing of it, forgot about it actually, and now ten years later it's hanging in every Popeye's franchise coast to coast.

It's the most bizarre validation I've ever had over something I wrote. The cashier, however, was not impressed and would not break me off a free 3-piece (spicy with red beans and rice, natch).

Popeye's fans, represent!

SD

Soccer Dad: Clocking Lots of Dollars

Props to my homeboy Kevin who shot this clip earlier this year, during the traditional bowing to elders. Kid is too damn cute.

SD

Challenge Update

Thanks to everyone's donations, two of our three educational proposals have been fully funded!!!!! THANK YOU ALL! YOU ROCK!

The one remaining proposal, Myself and Others, is already 65% funded, with only $487 needed to complete funding.

So, if we can only get $243.50 donated to Myself and Others, then InstantYang will graciously match the remainder. Then, all three of our educational proposals will be complete! (Thank you InstantYang for picking up the dollar-for-dollar match through July 4!!)

Don't worry, this is not the end of the RiceDaddies Empowerment in Diversity Challenge. Once all of our proposals are fully funded, you will still be able to donate to your heart's content. I have a list of proposals in the pipeline which will be activated once the current ones are fully funded.

Let's have a round of applause for the following donors, whose generosity has enabled about 1,225 students to obtain approximately 1,960 hours of learning:

• Alfredo C.
• Anthony M.
• Debra H.
• Debra P.
• Ella Ruby J. E.
• Evie and James-Tai Murakami
• Gail E.
• Ivette B.
• Jackie L.
• Jason & Michelle Sperber
• Judith A.
• Larry C.
• Linda S.
• Lissette V.
• Margaret Hughes.
• Maria M.
• Mary G.
• Mary Jane L.
• Mary O.
• Matthew Callaghan.
• Melissa P.
• Natalie G.
• Regina D.
• Rosezella M.
• Sam W.
• Shavonne K.
• Susan Ito.
• Susie A.
• U. Angie H.
• William K.

If you haven't yet made your donation, it's not too late to join the ranks of the heroes listed above. Simply click here to make your donation today!

Firecracker Chili

Who says daddies can't cook? Thanks to prodding from my fellow dads, here's my recipe for no bean chili just in time for the 4th of July. (It even took first place in two chili contests. OK, they were small contests but hey it's still good chili!) Best of all, my kids seem to like it a lot whether it's with rice, baked potato, on hot dogs/burgers or just served with cheese on top. I serve it at my kid's birthday parties.

It's really easy to make. Just make sure you have a skillet, a big pot and buy one of those huge 20 oz bottles of chili powder. The ingredient list below is for every 1 lb of meat so you can easily scale it up as much as you need (i.e. for 2 lbs of meat, double everything else, etc.):


The Meat
1 lb regular hamburger (fattier meat will taste better than lean)
1/2 onion diced (optional)
oil for cooking


The Rub (for every lb of meat use:)
1 1/2 tbs corn starch
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp garlic powder


Other (for every lb of meat use:)

14 oz. can of diced or whole tomatoes

1/4 cup water (depends on how thick you like the sauce)

1/8 cup Ketchup

2 oz. chili powder

To Taste
cayenne pepper
more garlic powder
more ketchup
salt


Here's the secret to this recipe, you prepare the meat as you would in many Asian dishes. First thing to do is mix up the rub ingredients in a small bowl. Now get out a big bowl to mix the rub into your meat and onions (optional on the onions). Don't mash the meat too hard or it will get tough. You just need the corn starch to be incorporated into the meat. Let it sit now.

Now put the Other ingredients except the chili powder all in a big pot and bring to boil. As soon as it boils reduce heat immediately and leave it on very low heat to simmer.

Break out the skillet, put in some oil and stir fry the meat/rub mixture on high heat. Unlike other chili recipes, you don't want to brown the meat, cook it through and toss it into the big pot. Now toss in the chili powder. Make sure the chili looks nice and dark, add in more chili powder as needed (chili powder really isn't spicy so no worries about putting in too much.)

Since the meat is already cooked, the chili is done as soon as the flavors meld. I usually taste it after 15 minutes and add in more chili or garlic powder or salt. Some people like it sweeter so you can add in more ketchup. If you like the tomatoes to be softer and sweeter you can cook it for longer, just add water if you are in danger of burning and stir often.

Serve it any way you wish and add cayenne pepper to taste. This spice is really neat in that the spiciness doesn't linger on your tongue for hours on end. But it does fade away with long cooking so there isn't any reason to add it to the dish until it is served.

Chili is pretty versatile so add in any condiments you see fit like salsa, cheese, torilla chips, etc.

Enjoy! Next time I have to write down my pesto clam sauce recipe!

Full Term, Baby!

If any of you wandered into the comments section of InstantYang's last post, you may have already read that Nakko has reached her 37th week and is officially carrying a full term baby in her belly (left). Our original due date is July 9, and that should still be the case, but it's exciting to know that Kiki could come any day now!

For the most part, the two of us seem to be as prepared as we can be. We've finished the nursery, installed the car seats, taken birthing classes and the dresser's overflowing with enough bodysuits and onesies to clothe an entire brood. All we need now is the kid, I suppose. In the meantime, we've been using a Klappar Panda we bought from Ikea as a substitute for the baby: strapping it in the car seat, riding in the stoller, swaddling practice, etc. By the way, even though the stuffed panda is unbelievably adorable, Nakko and I are convinced Kiki will be so much cuter!

Also, I think our dog Spaz is starting to get a little suspicous. We figured he wasn't completely oblivious to Nakko's pregnancy. He would occassionally rub his head against her belly and be much more affectionate around her. Now he seems to be a little annoyed that Kiki's furniture is encroaching on his space. For instance, we've had to move his doggie bed to the other side of the room to fit Kiki's Pack 'n' Play, so now he refuses to sleep in it. It probably doesn't help that we now keep the baby's room door closed (he used to sneak in there and sleep on the bed.) Also, he sometimes gets queasy and throws up when Nakko takes him for walks in the afternoon. Could the dog be going through "sympathy symptoms" too?!

The other issue we're dealing with now that the baby's almost here is what to do once our leave is up. Nakko's taking a total of six weeks maternity leave before she goes back to work part-time. I've taken three weeks off (you should've seen the shocked looks on my male co-workers' faces when they found out I was taking an unheard-of three weeks for the birth of my baby girl). Since the idea of working from home is blasphemous around the office, I was contemplating finding a new J.O.B. that offered the benefit of telecommuting. Thought I had one in the bag, but that kind of fell by the wayside. SO here's my question to you kindly folks since I know some of you are work-at-home dads. Are there any resources for people to find WAH opportunities? Aside from, you know, starting my own business, turning to craigslist or investing in a bunch of bone-scanners Will Smith-style, that is?

SFGate.com: Father's Day, the Rice Daddy Way

So some of you may know that one of the multiple other hats I wear is that of "Asian Pop" columnist for SFGate, the web edition of the San Francisco Chronicle. Hey, a handful of you may even read the column, which hits the web every other Tuesday. (If you don't, here's some added inducement for us thrifty Asian American media consumers: It's free, yo.)

Anyway, to commemorate Father's Day—and to bring some welcome attention to our little blogging community—I used this week's column to explore some of the reasons why being an Asian American dad of our generation is a unique experience, distinct from that of our fathers and that of non-Asian pops...not to mention from that of our best-beloved spouses and partners. Which means that we often end up turning to one another for advice, camaraderie, and understanding. And that, in turn, is why Rice Daddies has been so important, to me and, I think, to a lot of you. It's where we can brag, vent, celebrate, and commiserate in a forum public enough for a diverse set of responses and perspectives to emerge, but private enough for most readers to, like, get what we're talking about.

A number of RDs responded to my call to contribute Father's Day thoughts to this column, including Newbie Dad, Henri, SoulSnax, Dr. Lo Siento, and Daddy in a Strange Land (who even got his pic with the Pumpkin posted to the front page of SFGate, though I suspect a lot of people are going to assume that that's me and that Hudson is going through gender confusion issues). Their touching, inspirational, and funny-ass words really enriched the piece, and I want to thank them for taking the time—and thank the entire community for, well, being there.

Which brings up the matter of putting one's money where one's mouth is. The prorated fee I get for this particular column will be donated to our Rice Daddy Empowerment in Diversity Challenge—as a way of kick-starting the next phase of our charitable efforts. That's $300 right there.

And to make this sweeter, I'm picking up SoulSnax's funds-matching torch: I'll up that to a full one-to-one match of whatever comes in between now and July 4. So if you guys kick up the fundage over $300, I'll match the difference as well. Donate $400, and I'll donate $400. We're currently at $1,191.55, with $2,005.00 remaining to hit our "project total." So all you guys need to do is kick in $1002.50 between now and the Fourth of July, and I'll absorb the rest (as well as, quite probably, a severe tongue-lashing from my wife, but honey, it's for a good cause...).

Let's get it on, Daddies and Mommies! There are kids to educate out there, minds to grow, worlds to change...and as we know from being parents, every little bit counts.