Saturday, September 16, 2006

Strange New Dad Invades Rice Daddies: Kudzu Ensues

Hi, my name is Henri and I am an alcoho- (crap I hate when that happens)- I mean I'm an Asian Dad. Thanks to MetroDad for introducing me to the powers that be and thanks to the Rice Daddies crew for allowing me into the inner sanctum of Asian Dadness. The hazing was a little rough, yes my ass still hurts and that whole knife fighting thing while riding the Civics that was a little uncalled for, but in the end it was all worth it because here I am. Asian Dad. You know I never really thought of myself as an Asian anything, I guess that's what happens when you grow up Korean in LA motherfu--- sorry I say that every time I say LA. But growing up Korean in LA motherf-- (stop it) is like growing up white in [insert any American city here]. Oh I forgot New Jersey...if you're Korean in LA or New Jersey then you're just John Doe Citizen Dude because there's just a gang of Koreans and it's not even funny. But being here makes me feel especially Asian (Korean to you Mr. Probst....what? What did you just ask? Yes South Korean, I am South Korean stop showing off Jeff). Unfortunately for the Korean race many people will now see me as a representative of our noble and proud people and for this I say...sorry. I write like a drunk 10 year old ninja pirate (rarest of the 23 types of ninja) and am not very politically correct or minded for that matter. So I highly recommend you click my link and read my blog and realize how inappropriate my membership is to this fine group of good writers...ok crap I'm rambling. I really just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Korean, my wife is Japanese, our son is Irish and we live in Northern California. I like ninjas and whiskey. In a former life I was an artist and writer, now my work is eyeball related and my wife shares the same profession so I also get to send her off to do my job for me whenever I like, so technically I am also a part-time stay at home Dad. Thanks again to Daddy In a Strange Land and Metrodad for bringing me here. The business cards are really nice:

Henri (Corndogandrootbeer)
I'm a Rice Daddy, Bitch

I guess you have to see it to really appreciate it, umm...there's like these little cherry blossoms on the card and the typeset is like raised a bit and I think there's like a little crane in the corner. Is that a crane? Whatever, it's really nice guys. Oh and my Doctor says it's just lateral epicondylitis and not a broken elbow like I thought from F-Bomb throwing me off that Civic. Cheers.


daddy in a strange land said...

If you show anybody the secret handshake we're gonna have to come over and kick your ass.

honglien123 said...

Not another Korean guy! Just kidding. Welcome Henri; can't wait to read your posts. Your blog and comments on Metrodad are hilarious.

Puka said...

Welcome to RD Henri. I'm Korean and the Mister is Japanese. I don't think our daughter is Irish, though. hehe Look forward to reading your commentary on being a daddy and other noteworthy stuff. Maybe you can tell us more about ninja pirates. I haven't heard of them before, probably because they're the rarest.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe nobody took a good look at that photo, Henri, and noticed that you photoshopped my picture onto a bottle of Johnny Walker scotch. Our "people" must not be very observant. Crap! Doesn't bode well for our chances on "Survivor."

In all seriousness, welcome to the Rice Daddies Club. Glad to have you and your freakish sense of humor on-board.

Anonymous said...

What's with the Rice Daddies with French names??

Ahem, I did notice the Metrodad brand of Johnny Walker, thank you very much. Welcome... you sound a bit nutty - in a good way!

My mom is half Korean and half Japanese... so she's Irish? Does that make me half Irish?

thisislarry said...

awright, LA in the house!

bonjour Henri, looking forward to your drunk ninja stylings, and sorry about the nhaxing getting a little out of hand. did we leave those handcuffs with you?

We may have to trade posts on "my high was so asian that..."

thisislarry (chinese guy from Cerritos)

thisislarry said...

nhaxing = hazing. doh. -L

thisislarry said...

dammit. "my high was" = "my high school was".

note to self. get better at writing.

daddy in a strange land said...

No worries, Larry, must've been the drugs.

And sorry, dudes, but Rowland Hts. and Cerritos ain't LA, yo!

Henri said...

Wait wait wait...I started off in Hollywood and went to Vine Street Elementary School. I had to travel (I shit you not) under a fucking tunnel to get to my school. My family then decided that the next time I got shot the bullet might actually hit my brain and then I'd be doomed to getting B+'s all my life and they said (in Korean) fuck that shit holmes. And moved us to the suburbs.

Oh and Cerritos and Rowland DO NOT get more asian that Cerritos and Rowland Heights. Oh wait San Marino High has everyone trumped...but after that it's Cerritos and Rowland...hey wait Whitney is in the Cerritos district right? Sorry as a Dad i'm always comparing school districts. Damn that school kicks ass, but then shit my kid would have to live in Cerritos. I mean hell he'd be one HELL of a poker player but he too would probably get shot. Damn can't risk those B+'s.

Oh and thanks everyone for the warm welcome! Oh the Irish thing, yeah...all kids I sire come out Irish. Oh and MetroDad is my son so I gave him a french name (ergo he is also Irish). There's some kind of law in physics that states we have to live on opposite coasts or else everyone runs out of whiskey or something like that. 5th Law of thermodamnwereoutoffuckingwhisky.


thisislarry said...


i'm a whitney alum so watch out or i might have to bust out the alma mater on you ;) -L