Who saw what?

I don't know if this is scary, entertaining or both. ISawYourNanny.com.

Seriously, how thin is the line between child welfare and self-righteous bulls--- in these posts? That said, it should be a cautionary tale for people to keep their yaps shut when they don't know who they're talking to.

--Poppa Large

SOON TO BE DAD

Hey guys,
Wow, this is the first time I have ever blogged, so I am sort of nervous and shaky. Sweating in my palms as we speak. Daddy in a Strange Land was nice enough to invite me since I am a soon to be dad. As for the hazing, it was a drink soy sauce until my urine turned dark but I am now recovering after dialysis. I am a Korean American from the "hood": Anaheim, CA. Haha, just reminds me of that scene from Swingers. My wife is Korean American but not from the "hood". We actually found out several weeks ago about the pregnancy, but did not tell anyone until last week when she made it through the first trimester. It still feels unreal, and it probably won't hit me till she starts getting a little pooch in her belly and feels the baby moving. In the meantime, I have been talking to her belly and calling him or her "baby".

Just an introduction about myself, I am Dr. Lo Siento which means "I'm Sorry" in spanish, since I am a family practice doctor who works with mostly spanish speaking patients. I pretty much Lo Siento everyone when I started working straight out of residency since I did not know what I was doing alot of the time. I have been out 3 years, and still often feel clueless. Doing breast exams and pap smears on men, asking people who have high blood pressure if they have nipple discharge, accidentally burning women's behinds with the pap light after putting in an IUD, anyways, you get the point. I was always saying Lo Siento for some reason to practically every patient I saw. Sometimes I feel like the show Scrubs was reality for me, and I could practically write for them with my real life experienes. I would totally ask patients in the hospital if I could eat their food. Sometimes that chocolate pudding looked really tasty, and of couse I did not want it to go to waste. The hospital cafeteria chicken, melts in your mouth like butter. The diarrhea following was worth it. Residency, oh residency, crazy days.

Anyways, we are really excited about the baby, but nervous at the same time. It's crazy since we still feel like kids ourselves sometimes, but I know God will definitely get us through. We just pray that the pregnancy will go well. Thank you guys for letting me be part of this blog site.

Soccer Dad: Chopped & Screwed

What the hell happened? I intercepted a pass. The ball went high in the air and I ran after it. My plan was to run along side it, bring it back and settle it, waiting for midfielder support. As I went to gather the ball, my foot slid over it, stuck in the turf and my body kept going. I thought I was dreaming because I NEVER get hurt. I hit the ground and looked down at my ankle, which is turned in an unnatural direction and realized: I’m f*cked. Guys around me are yelling to call 911. I lay back, grab my head, and try to deal. I breathe like I never have breathed before.

Yet for all the commotion and pain, I tried my best to be zen about the whole thing. I thought about Maceo a lot and about Iraqi children losing limbs in bombing runs. I thought about Wifey going through labor without an epidurl. The fellas tried to keep things positive, reassured me the ambulance was coming to which I mentally started singing “911 is a Joke.” When your foot is turned a different direction, time goes by s-l-o-w.

The fire department finally shows up. I get smacked out on morphine, which doesn’t really take the pain away, but helps dial down your anxiety. By the time I hit the hospital, I’ll have ingested 15 mgs of morphine. By the time I get to x-ray, which included two soul sucking bone resets, I’d take 12 more. The prognosis: deformed ankle, 90% dislocation, bone fracture. I get a steel plate and six screws and a placard that says I can park in the handicapped spot.

I also got a night at the hospital, sharing a tiny room with two grumpy old men, one without a hearing aid, the other in for what sounded like a colostomy procedure. Didn’t get to sleep much as periodic rounds kept me up. I really missed being home in my bed and couldn’t wait to tear out the IV’s and get discharged.

I get sent home with a Limbaugh-sized script for painkillers, and a temporary brace, which I exchange in ten days for a hard cast. When I got discharged, home was the best anesthesia. Being able to feed Maceo, read and play with him did amazing things for my psyche. I started getting hungry again. My new boss is bringing my computer over today to set me up so I can do some things and get paid. I’m pretty much back to normal, except for the walking thing. (And constipation. To paraphrase ATCQ: My shits are hard like two-three day old shit!)

As for chasing Maceo around, it’s super frustrating. I can’t put any weight on the leg, which immediately excises things like picking him up out of the crib or changing diapers. Wifey is going to have double duty for a while until I get those powers back. Back to rehabbing…

SD

Interview with Ninja

Henri: So you are a Ninja?
NinjaDad: I am NinjaDad.
Henri: Umm I see.
NinjaDad: I have a blog.
Henri: Really, what's a Blog? Is that something new? It sounds very novel.
NinjaDad: I have read yours. Now read mine.
Henri: Well actually I was here to interview you about being a Ninja.
NinjaDad: ...or you can die.
Henri: Hmm ok I promise to read your blog later.
NinjaDad: NinjaDad dot com.
Henri: Of course it is. Anyways I wanted to ask you a few question about Ninja and I guess also about being a Dad.
NinjaDad: I am NinjaDad.
Henri: Yes we have established that. So is there a NinjaMom?
NinjaDad: Unfortunately no, she passed away a year ago.
Henri: Oh I'm very sorry to hear that.
NinjaDAd: Want to hear a joke?
Henri: Actually let's talk about fatherhood.
NinjaDad: Knock Knock.
Henri: Um Whos...
NinjaDad: This is where I would kill you but since you are interviewing me right now I will only pretend to kill you.
[flurry of movement]
Henri: Um you just cut my arm off.
NinjaDad: Yes but you are not dead. In the real joke I would kill you before you finished saying who's there. And then as you lay dying I then say...NinjaDad.
Henri: Umm can I get a medic here. Can someone dial 911.
NinjaDad: It's in my blog this Knock Knock joke. It's very funny.
Henri: Can someone call Soccerdad and have him reserve the bed next to him so we can hang out while they sew my arm back on.
NinjaDad: Stop talking to other people, you are here to interview me.
Henri: I'm afraid you ended the interview when you cut my arm off.
NinjaDad: Oh sorry if I had known that I would have told a different joke.
Henri: Um can I get like a paper towel here. Is there a la Doctora in the house?
NinjaDad: Stop being such a baby.
Henri: Are you making the all-done sign at me?
NinjaDad: [waving hands] Yes. All-Done. You are big baby.
Henri: Join me next week everybody when I interview...[thud]
NinjaDad: I am NinjaDad.

Broken Off

Remember what I said about "breaking off these tech fools something proper?" Well I got my wish. More to come, as free time will be my middle name for a while.

SD

Soccer Dad: Hauling A

I left my editing job two weeks ago. Took a contracting job at a local digital music distribution company whose name rhymes with "Thigh Spoons." That's the easy reason why I've been M.I.A. (how many logins and passwords do reasonable people need?); the more honest reason is that I've been following Mase in his dust. He's mastering the walk and motoring all through the house. Damn, why didn't someone remind me how much this ratchets up stakes. It's fun to watch except when you're concentrating on something like cooking or personal hygiene. The dog is especially patient with sudden sneak attacks. Go, Maceo, Go!

The paper allowed me a lot of freedom and was real close; now I'm facing a square 9-5 with a 10 mile commute along a major traffic artery. It'll take some getting used to, but my boss is awesome and there are 20,000 rea$on$ why this is a better look for me, Mom and Maceo. And I hear they have lunchtime pickup soccer games FOUR DAYS a week! I'm going to break these tech fools off something proper, once the workload slows down. If it slows down.

We celebrated our 10th anniversary with an insane splurge meal at Manresa. Pictured is breem sashimi, one of over 12 courses we ate with corresponding wine flights. As Mac Dre says, Treat Yourself Don't Cheat Yourself.

SD

Sam Wan Superquiz: Answers (Damn you Sam Wan Part Un)

Ok damn. I just took the Sam Wan Super Quiz, and crafty-ass Asian that I am I made a cheat sheet for all of you. You're Welcome. Oh and here's a disclaimer: In all seriousness, reading or using my answers will disqualify you from taking the real test, so do Sam a favor. Participate in the real survey first.

Ok for the rest of you here are the correct answers.

Yo Daddies, Get Psyched

Sam Wan needs men who self-identify as Asian American (however they define it) to help out with his dissertation research on Asian American men and their experiences with racism. I'm reprinting his call for participants in full—so check it out, and help a brother out if you gots the time. [Plus, you could win an Amazon.com gift certificate!]

Hello all,
My name is Sam Wan, a Ph.D. candidate in Counseling Psychology, and I am a second-generation Chinese American researching Asian American men’s experiences, under the direction of James Mahalik, Ph.D. I am writing the listserv to ask for Asian American men to participate in my online dissertation research survey, and to offer you an opportunity to be entered into a random drawing for 1 of 3 $100 Amazon.com gift certificates for your participation (see below). Did you know that Asian American men experience various reactions to racism-related messages in our society, including stress reactions? Some scholars have hypothesized that this stress may even be related to our identity as Asian American men. My research is an attempt to further the understanding of these issues facing Asian American men.

I am requesting all Asian American men on this listserv to consider participating in this study. You are eligible to participate if you are at least 18 years of age and identify yourself as Asian American or a member of any Asian American subgroup.

Your survey responses are entirely anonymous. Any name and email address information you choose to provide will not be tied in any way to your responses, will only be used for the drawing, and will be destroyed forever once the drawing is completed. This information will never be used in any other way except that which has already been stated. In the survey you will be asked some questions about race, racism, cultural values, and masculinity.

The approximately 20-minute survey can be completed online at:

https://www.psychdata.com/s.asp?SID=119272

Alternatively, you may go to http://www.psychdata.com and in the box that states "Go to Survey #" and type “119272”.

For your participation, I would like to offer you the chance to win 1 of 3 $100 gift certificates to Amazon.com, drawn at random from the participants who complete the survey (up to 130 participants). Please consider participating and no matter if you win a prize or not, in the end, my hope is that your participation in the study will help efforts at improving the quality of Asian American men’s lives in the future.
If you have questions about the study, I can be contacted by phone at (857) 364-5764 or e-mail at wansa@bc.edu to answer any questions. You may also contact Dr. Mahalik by phone at (617) 552-4077 or e-mail at mahalik@bc.edu. If at any time you have questions or concerns about your rights as a participant in a research study, please contact the Boston College Office for Human Research Participant Protection at (617) 552-4778.

Thank you!

Sam Wan, M.A.
Campion Hall 309
Boston College
Chestnut Hill, MA 02467
e-mail: wansa@bc.edu
Phone: (857) 364-5764

James Mahalik, Ph.D.
Boston College
e-mail: mahalik@bc.edu
Phone: (617) 552-4077

Get a Sitter and Go See This Movie

Awarding-winning indie film "Red Doors" by writer/director Georgia Lee is currently packing theaters in New York and opens on Sept. 22 in San Francisco and Los Angeles (see the film's website for theater information). The film centers around a dysfunctional Chinese American family and the complicated relationships between three sisters and their father. The filmmaker and the movie's supporters are making a concerted effort to fill seats in order to demonstrate that there is an audience for Asian American cinema, so if you're lucky enough to live in one of those three cities [sniff], get yourself a babysitter [yeah, I know, most of you are saying, movie, what's a movie?] and go represent.

CityMama has a cool interview with Georgia Lee up on Kimchi Mamas right now, so go check it out. [Also, for those of you who've heard scuttlebutt in the AsAm blogosphere about "controversy" over portrayals of Asian men or interracial relationships in the film, please check out Angry Asian Man's excellent coverage of the issue (and the film in general) to set yourself straight.]

Strange New Dad Invades Rice Daddies: Kudzu Ensues

Hi, my name is Henri and I am an alcoho- (crap I hate when that happens)- I mean I'm an Asian Dad. Thanks to MetroDad for introducing me to the powers that be and thanks to the Rice Daddies crew for allowing me into the inner sanctum of Asian Dadness. The hazing was a little rough, yes my ass still hurts and that whole knife fighting thing while riding the Civics that was a little uncalled for, but in the end it was all worth it because here I am. Asian Dad. You know I never really thought of myself as an Asian anything, I guess that's what happens when you grow up Korean in LA motherfu--- sorry I say that every time I say LA. But growing up Korean in LA motherf-- (stop it) is like growing up white in [insert any American city here]. Oh I forgot New Jersey...if you're Korean in LA or New Jersey then you're just John Doe Citizen Dude because there's just a gang of Koreans and it's not even funny. But being here makes me feel especially Asian (Korean to you Mr. Probst....what? What did you just ask? Yes South Korean, I am South Korean stop showing off Jeff). Unfortunately for the Korean race many people will now see me as a representative of our noble and proud people and for this I say...sorry. I write like a drunk 10 year old ninja pirate (rarest of the 23 types of ninja) and am not very politically correct or minded for that matter. So I highly recommend you click my link and read my blog and realize how inappropriate my membership is to this fine group of good writers...ok crap I'm rambling. I really just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Korean, my wife is Japanese, our son is Irish and we live in Northern California. I like ninjas and whiskey. In a former life I was an artist and writer, now my work is eyeball related and my wife shares the same profession so I also get to send her off to do my job for me whenever I like, so technically I am also a part-time stay at home Dad. Thanks again to Daddy In a Strange Land and Metrodad for bringing me here. The business cards are really nice:

Henri (Corndogandrootbeer)
I'm a Rice Daddy, Bitch

I guess you have to see it to really appreciate it, umm...there's like these little cherry blossoms on the card and the typeset is like raised a bit and I think there's like a little crane in the corner. Is that a crane? Whatever, it's really nice guys. Oh and my Doctor says it's just lateral epicondylitis and not a broken elbow like I thought from F-Bomb throwing me off that Civic. Cheers.

We're "Site of the Week" at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer!

Seattle Post-Intelligencer family reporter Paul Nyhan, who wrote one of the several Father's Day stories about dadbloggers that namechecked us and our own MetroDad, also writes the newspaper's parenting blog, "Working Dad: An Unauthorized Guide to Parenting."

Since June, he's ended each week by naming a "Site of the Week." We're proud and happy to announce that today "Rice Daddies" was chosen as this week's "Site of the Week." Thanks, Paul! And have a great weekend, everybody....

"Survivor: Race Wars" Premieres Tonight—With A Rice Daddy and Mama on the AsAm Team

So, tonight's the dreaded night, the premiere of "Survivor: Race Wars" (a.k.a. "Survivor: Cook Islands") on CBS at 8 p.m. Dreaded, that is, unless you're a blogger who needs stupid crap to write about/complain about/rag on, yeah? Heh. Must. Not. Look. But. Can't. Look. Away! The horror! The horror! In other words, it's reality t.v.

Hope y'all caught the Washington Post's t.v. column last week (link via Angry Asian Man) which exposed host Jeff Probst's moronic (mis-)understanding of race/culture/nationality/ethnicity/geography, vis-a-vis Asian Americans. Here's just a sample:

"When you start talking to a person from Asia, you realize -- Wow! They have all different backgrounds!"

[...]

The other day, he told the reporters, he went to his dentist, who is white, and the dentist brought in another dentist, who is Asian. "And I found myself saying to the Asian doctor, 'Where in Asia is your family from?' " The dentist said he was Korean. "The only reason I had the courage to even ask that question or the knowledge to ask that question was I'd just spent 39 days with people from Korea," Probst said.

Asians, he explained, include Chinese and Japanese and Koreans and "they don't necessarily get along," adding, "This is stuff maybe I should know."

I have no words. Well, I do, but the blogosphere's already said it all for me, I'm sure, so I'll refrain. [Definitely check out Mixed Media Watch's on-going coverage and compilation of links on this crap, it's hilarious, in a sad, head-shaking sorta way, of course.]

You know, with all the yelling/head-shaking/calls-for-boycotting on one side and defensive-posturing on the other, I might actually watch this thing (after having tuned out after season 1 or 2), just to see what happens. [And, of course, there's the blog fodder.]

But anyway, I was cruising around the official website to find out about the 5 members of the Asian team, and discovered that the elder two members, Anh-Tuan "Cao Boi" Bui, 42, of Virginia, and Jenny Guzon-Bae, 36, of Illinois, are parents. The Pinay realtor has a middle-schooler son, Casey [hey, Kimchi Mamas, the second half of that hyphenated surname sounds Korean to me!].

Our own reality t.v. Rice Daddy proxy [yeah, don't know if that's a good thing, either] came from Vietnam as a pre-teen refugee, has had a whole bunch of jobs (including the U.S. Army), but currently is a nail salon manager. [Interestingly enough, of all the contestant profiles, his seems to be the only one that doesn't display his profession under his name/age/hometown heading—instead, it says "prelate, loyal order of moose."] A Survivor fan-site profile page has the full text of an article from Cao Boi's (yeah, that's "cowboy" Vietnamesified) local paper interviewing his sons, Jesse, 12, and Nick, 9, who live with their mom:

"He never really did anything strong or cool before," Nick said. "He might embarrass us. He talks a lot and sleeps a lot. He snores."

But on second thought, maybe their dad isn’t such a wimp after all.

"He is pretty strong, and he can survive without food for a week," said Nick.

[...]

"I’m going to expect him to be acting crazy like usual. He will probably be swimming a lot, and he would be the first one to start a fire," said Nick. "He will probably act like the boss."

[...]

Even though they’re in awe of their dad’s newfound fame, the boys missed him a lot when he was on the Cook Islands from June through late August.

"It was kind of lonely. It was sad to not be able to see him," said Nick.

Kimchi and Rice Is Nice

This past Sunday, we celebrated the end of summer away from the furnace that is Bakersfield [it's 100+ degrees as I write this at home right now!] with food and friends at my paternal grandparents' Orange County beach house. This has become something of an annual tradition, started back when we were young(-er) and pre-baby, but it's amazing to see how the march of time changes things—this year, there were like 10 kids at the party, ranging from 6 months to 4 years. We even had a changing station well-stocked with wipes and a napping station (well, a pack-n-play) that went unused, probably because of the other new addition to the party—the ever-popular kiddie pool in the backyard.

Food was plentiful: kalbi and bratwurst from the kettle grill [I always make our Chinese Texan friend grill, 'cause I can't pass up the humor inherent in the stereotype and plus, what do I know? I use propane at home], "island" fried chicken from the nearest branch of a local plate-lunch mini-chain we love, a trayful of "authentic" Trader Joe's gyoza, assorted salads and healthy-type things, and a whole mess of not-healthy-but-oh-so-good desserts (carrot cake and tres leches cake, flan, cookies, I'm sure I'm forgetting something).... I love that we have friends who love food as much as we do. Heh.

The crowd was our most diverse (read: more non-doctors!) yet, including la dra.'s residency buddies, some Bako folks, a few old friends of mine, and, most exciting, some new blogging friends. We were happy to meet off-line, for the first time, Kimchi Mama Weigook Saram, her husband A and their daughter K, and Kimchi Mama Nina, her Rice Daddy husband Charlie and their son Caius. Also with us were fellow Rice Daddy Mr. Maestro (a RL friend who I dragged into this when we started), his wife the Headmistress, and their son Penguin (who had the distinction of being the youngest baby there).


It's always nice to find that the virtual community you've plugged into, made connections with on-line really can translate into real life. La dra., The Pumpkin and I had a great time hanging out with the Kimchi Mamas' and Rice Daddies' families, and hopefully, we can continue to foster and strengthen these connections both on- and off-line [or just eat lots of food and let the kids run all over the place, that's good too].

[BTW, in the photo at the top left, that's Nina and Caius, Weigook Saram and K, and me and The Pumpkin—Charlie was hiding behind his own camera for that one; in the bottom right, that's Mr. Maestro dipping Penguin into a bucket of water, as the full-size kiddie pool kinda freaked him out.]